The Reunion Recap...Finally!

Why has it taken me so long to write about this? I think I've been digesting the whole thing. It's taken a while for me to come to terms with the fact that I went to my 20 year high school reunion. 20 YEARS!! I still hiccup every time I say or think that. I mean, that seems like a really long time when I say it. Too long, like I'm supposed to be old now.

I called my sister on the way down (which could turn into a very long story but I'll skip that part for now) and my 16 year old niece answered the phone. She asked what I was doing and when I told her, she squealed at how cool that must be. She, still being in high school, couldn't even imagine what it would be like to go back 20 years later. At that moment, I couldn't imagine either. ;-)

I also called my mom and I don't quite think that what she and I talked about helped with the anxiety I was already feeling. She didn't think I would want to go to my reunion. Her recollection of me in high school was that I Hated it. Not just hated it, but with a capital H. That I couldn't wait to get out and in fact started taking college art classes my senior year so that I didn't have to go to my high school as much. She recalled that I never brought ANY friends over to the house. She said that one day she actually followed me to school to see if I had any friends. That she thanked God when she saw me walk down the steps to the quad and meet up with someone that I knew and continued to walk with them, talking.

These pieces of information started me second guessing everything. Did I have any friends in High School? I didn't bring anyone around the house and for that matter, I don't remember hanging out at that many peoples houses either. I couldn't remember parents of people I knew. Did I ever meet them? What DID we do when we hung out? Where did we go? Remembering back that far isn't easy to say the least!

So, after a crazy shopping trip to buy a cocktail dress that I didn't end up wearing, (this is where my insecurities took over and told me that I wasn't wearing the "right" thing and needed something better 3 hours before the event), I pulled into the hotel parking lot and checked myself in. Hotel Los Gatos was beautiful. My room was amazing. A Jr. Suite with tons of room, a fireplace and big tub in the bathroom. My sister and Maya both told me to relax a bit before going in and considering how I was feeling, I needed to relax. I opened a beer and bag of chips, probably not the best thing to settle my stomach and took a bath. Everything was going fine, I was trying to just unwind before getting ready and then my stomach started knotting up. I mean the biggest knot I've ever had. The anxiety was just too overwhelming. I could hear the party going on, my room was literally a couple of doors down from the event. People were laughing and reuniting. And me? I was doubled over on the bed wondering if I was ever going to leave my room. I was intensely grateful at this moment that my room was so nice because if I did decide to stay, it had everything I needed including a mini bar with wine, crackers and cheese.






I somehow managed to get ready while holding my cramping stomach and called Matt and the boys to say goodnight. He asked how the reunion was and when I told him I hadn't gone in yet he responded with, "You paid for a ticket, you should go in! You'll be FINE! Have fun!"

So, gaining strength from the home team I took a deep breath and went in, an hour and a half after it started. It was a little overwhelming at first and most people were congregating around the two bars that were set up on the balconies of the space. I saw some familiar faces and then, eased into being there. I think the fear that sent my stomach into knots was wondering if anyone would be glad to see me. Would people remember me? All of those funny thoughts that we have because we're being pulled back in time to being a teenager who isn't sure of anything let alone who they are.

Most everyone looked the same or at least just older versions of who they were. The girls became beautiful women. They seemed to settle into themselves and blossom. The boys became...men! It was so interesting to see how everyone changed. How they grew and to hear stories of life events over the 20 years. The best part of the whole thing was that I had fun. I really did. I enjoyed seeing people I knew and even connected with classmates that I wasn't friends with back then who I'm looking forward to getting to know now.

It was interesting how some of the same dynamics played out that night. There was a girl who wouldn't give me the time of day in high school who still wouldn't give me the time of day, the guy who was quirky and a bit of a clown who still was, the people who partied and who were academic, the ones who were themselves, then and now. I thought about them and me. Who I was and who I am and I think what I came to was that I've always just been me. I never really tried to fit in with one particular crowd. I was friends with people from lots of different groups. I'm still that way. It was interesting to gain some perspective on myself and I'm so glad that I went. That I actually left the comfort of my room and braved the reunion alone. It was fun. Truly fun.

Since the reunion, everyone is connecting through Facebook which is a trip in itself. A new way to communicate and be connected. A way to be in contact and see fun updates and photo's of people. It's all a bit strange and the 20 year thing still makes my stomach turn a bit but I'm happy to have gone and am looking forward to keeping in touch with some old and some new friends.

If you can believe it I really didn't pull my camera out that often. I think I was just needing to be there and experience everything instead of focusing on taking pictures. Here are the few that I did take. I wish I had the "then" photo's to put along side. Now that would be fun!

Work, Work, Work...

It's been quite some time that I've actually blogged about work. I'm not sure why that is, not for a lack of working that's for sure. I've actually been extremely busy and grateful every day that I'm busy.

Maybe I haven't written anything because I've been so challenged with time management. Balancing everything at once. It can be a difficult road to be a mom and business woman all at the same time. Sometimes I miss the days when I would get up, get dressed, kiss my family goodbye and go to work. There was something nice about that. My time was my time. I worked, and socialized with co-workers, I had lunch EVERY day and had some time for myself while driving to and from the office.

That being said, I wouldn't trade where I am. Being here and seeing so much of the growth of my boys. Especially if one of them gets hurt. I'm here. And if I'm working and Martyna is here, I can come out of the office and hold them and kiss them. It makes a huge difference for all of us. I can feel it, and that is a good thing.

But, back to work. This is what my dining room looked like a few days ago. Three of the jobs I've been working on arrived all at once. A guest book, two wedding albums and two parent albums. Matt snickered that it was starting to look like Amway in our house.



As much as I loved the wedding albums that I designed, I'm really excited about the guest book project. For one, I had the opportunity to work with Matt and Garrett's (GB Photographers) images again, and two, it was so much fun!



Kimberly and Danny are getting married tomorrow in Pebble Beach at the beautiful Beach Club at Pebble Beach. Matt and Garrett left this morning to shoot the rehearsal dinner tonight and stay the weekend for the wedding. I can't wait to see the images and design their album.

To share a little bit about the project, a few months back Matt and Garrett met the couple for an engagement shoot and had a blast. It was a nice, relaxed way to get to know each other and for Kimberly and Danny to get comfortable in front of the camera. From the shoot they have a disk full of amazing photographs.

Here's the question. What do you do with all of those pictures? I know that most of the time they sit on someone's computer and one or a few are printed. Most likely the mom's are the one's requesting prints and then what? You have a disk full of beautiful images with nowhere to go.

So, I contacted Kimberly and Danny and asked if they would want to put a guest book together. They were thrilled with the idea and I immediately sat down and put together a draft. It was such a fun and relaxed book to design compared to a wedding album. There's a free quality about it that I love. I worked with Kimberly to weave the text throughout the book and we are all thrilled with the final product.









It's going to be such a wonderful keepsake from the day. All of the beautiful photographs that were taken along with signatures, comments, and advice from the guests who attended. How perfect! It made me wish that I had been doing this when Matt and I were married!!

I guess we'll have to have another wedding to celebrate our 10th or 20th anniversary. Something to look forward to...

Birthday Wishes

THANK YOU to everyone who went out of their way to call or write to wish me a happy birthday! I felt special and loved by all of the wishes. They started early in the morning and continued all the way until late at night. Thank you!!!

My day started with birthday wishes from my boys and the cutest hand made frames with a picture of each of them that they made with Matt. Mason was really cute and excited that today was my birthday. I think even more than me. No, I'm sure of that!


When I dropped him off for school and told him that Martyna was going to be picking him up he kind of hat a melt down. He wouldn't let me leave and told me that today was a special day and that he was supposed to spend it with me. That I wasn't supposed to work on my birthday. He asked me when I was having my birthday party and if I was having cake or cupcakes and couldn't wrap his head around my telling him that I wasn't having ANY of those things. It was pretty cute. I finally was able to leave when his teacher brought out art supplies so that he could make me a special card for my birthday. So sweet!

Maya came over, she's so good, and brought me my favorite local lunch. Grilly's Taco Chicken Salad. I love the wrap too but today felt like a salad day and it was Soooo good. She gave me the most beautiful heart necklace that sparkles in the sunshine. I love how glittery it is. Thanks Maya!


Then I went in for a Network Chiropractic evaluation. This new office opened up and they're running a promotion this week. You give a $20 donation to the Marin Food Bank and they give you an evaluation, one adjustment and a follow up to explain the evaluation and hear your feedback. Doing something for myself and my body was a treat for sure.

Then it was off to the grocery store and home for dinner. Martyna stayed which was a nice surprise and we ate and talked and laughed. After dinner Mason and I made an apple pie. This was my birthday pie and we found birthday hats and a candle and the boys sang me happy birthday and gave me birthday kisses. I made sure to film it so that I can have it in the years to come.

Speaking of a film of my boys singing happy birthday, this is what Matt left on my computers desktop for me to find.....



I LOVE THIS!!! Thank you honey for such a sweet video. It makes me laugh to tears every time I watch it.

Later in the evening, I had a bunch of albums to package in order to ship tomorrow to clients. One of the other gifts I received was from Matt's parents and I put it to use tonight. It's an embosser for circular gold and silver foil labels that stamps FMN in the center. It's awesome and I sealed the envelopes of the cards I included with the seal. I LOVE IT. Thank you guys so much for that one.



I have to say that everyone made me feel special yesterday. From the phone calls to Maya's visit, the emails and postings on my Facebook account. From family and friends, old and new and even from people I reconnected with at the reunion. Thank you everyone.

From the bottom of my heart.

I'll end this with what Mason said as I tucked him into bed. I gave him a goodnight kiss and said, "Goodnight my love, I'll see you in the morning."

And he said... "Goodnight birthday girl."

20 Years Later

Today I'm getting in the car and driving down to Saratoga, the town where I grew up. I'm a local girl, never moving far from home, although San Francisco definitely felt like another world. I'm taking this drive because tonight is my 20 year High School reunion.

I didn't sleep very well last night and I can feel the anxiousness in my body as I'm typing. Who will be there, what will they be like. Will I see some of my old friends?

I can hardly believe it's been 20 years. It's a strange thing because it's been sparking thoughts of who I am, who I was, where I've come over the years. When I was younger, the age I am now seemed so old. But, I'm not old, older maybe, but not old.

Matt had no desire to come along and as much as I would like him to be there with me, I guess I can understand him not wanting to come. But, walking through that door, alone, is the part that I think feels the most challenging. And the funny part is that I'm one of those people that loves to do things by myself. I go to the movies alone, museums, the beach, even restaurants. It's the introverted part of me that I've come to appreciate and love over the years, but for some reason, I'm feeling a little challenged with this one.

Along with the reunion, my birthday is on Monday. I think it's compounding how I'm feeling. I usually get a bit introspective at this time of year to look at who I've been and what I've accomplished or not accomplished over the last year. I've been doing that for as long as I can remember and in the past, I would take some time for myself to go to the beach or somewhere that I love, to sit and think about things. Over the past few years, that's been more difficult to do with the kids but I've found a way here and there.

When I was telling one of my girlfriends that I had a hotel room for the reunion and that I wasn't sure if I would actually make it out of the room to go, she had an enlightening point of view. She reminded me that it was my birthday weekend and that it would be completely fine if I didn't leave the room. To just go and have a weekend to myself and sleep all day/night if I wanted to. Just relax! This, was an epiphany and I'm completely embracing that thought. I do however think that I'll muster the courage to walk downstairs and see who shows up and enjoy myself.

The thought of being able to revisit a time of life that was so difficult and challenging because I was growing and pushing and wanting things to be different than they were excites me. Not only do I get to mentally reflect about who I was, but feel it and experience it as I walk around and mingle with my old classmates.

It's funny how those old insecurities pop up and try to take over. Try to knock down all of the self assurance thats been built up over the years. What to wear, am I skinny enough, is my hair o.k. I think I'll just turn the volume of the radio up, listen to my ipod, lose myself in the music and drown out those voices. Tell them to just be quiet and let me enjoy myself because I like me, my husband and family and friends like me and I'm pretty sure that's all that matters.

Amelia

A couple of weekends ago we went to the Oakland Zoo for Amelia's 3rd Birthday.

We've been friends with Eric and Ericka, yes too cute I know, for a LONG time. I was there when the two of them were courting and deciding to get married. They were both in my life when I met Matt and through a long series of complicated yet intensely loving events, we are friends. Close friends.

We even used to live right across the street from each other. We could go on the front porch and wave when someone was leaving for work or tag along if one of us were taking a walk to the park. We miss that convenience for sure. It was really cool.

Amelia and Mason love each other a ton and to watch them play warms my heart. Mason talked about the upcoming birthday party for weeks and it was the first thing he said when he woke up. "Today we get to go to the Zoo for Amelia's birthday!" basically exploded from his mouth.

I had to bring the camera along to do some of the practicing that I need and love to do. Having a group of my closest friends together with our kids....that's a photo opportunity if I've ever heard of one!

So, here are some of the shots from the day. Some of the people, children I don't know because they're friends of friends but everyone was super sweet and it was a lovely day. AND, both sets of grandparents were present making it extra special for the birthday girl.

I hope you enjoy the shots!

The Getaway...Revealed

I was hoping to write about this sooner, but due to a minor injury, I pulled/pinched something in my back/hip while cleaning the shower, I wasn't able to sit at the computer! Drat! I should have just let the weekend continue without worrying about cleaning the house!

As far as my surprise getaway, I was told that we needed to be up and out of the house at 8am. Martyna arrived at 7:45 and I was ready to go. Matt seemed to be stalling and I was soon to find out why. Garrett and Tanya pulled up in their car at 8:05. I told Tanya I had no idea what was going on and neither did she.

On the drive to wherever we were going, Matt and Garrett explained a bit of the secret. They were celebrating our anniversaries and my birthday, as well as making up for the time we lose when they're shooting a weekend wedding. They were spending an entire day with just us.

We drove to a campsite near the town of Healdsburg and parked the car. Tanya and I still weren't sure what was going on but we knew we were going to be bike riding because our helmets were one of the items packed. Not too long after we arrived a van pulled up with the logo of Getaway Adventures along the side. Out came two guys, Ken and Jesse. They unloaded 5 bicycles and then proceeded to explain what was in store.








We were about to embark on an 8 mile bike ride through wine country. There were two stops along way, one in the middle of the ride at the Robert Young winery and one at the end of the ride at Mosaic. At the second winery and end of the bike portion of the adventure, they would supply a gourmet lunch for us to eat. After we were fed it was time to drive to the river and hop into kayaks. We were to paddle the double kayaks down the river for a couple of hours, or however long it took while stopping along the way.

Ken and Jesse told us that if we wanted to purchase wine at either vinyard, Jesse was following along in the van and would be more than happy to transport anything we bought. How perfect!

With big grins on our faces we rode our bikes along the country roads and stopped to taste the grapes along the way. Ken was our guide for this portion of the trip and he knew a lot about the area and the wines that were produced by the grapes we were tasting. Personal attention, large pours and a great education on the winery and it's history were what I loved about Robert Young.





The man behind the counter, Bruce, was a wonderful host. He told us all about the family history and how this was the first winery in the area. How UC Davis approached Robert Young because their studies showed that the soil would be perfect for growing grapes similar to the region in France. He took us into the cellar cave to show us the barrels of wine which produce a shocking 24.6 cases per barrel. There wine was delicious to boot so we had to buy a bottle!

I encourage you to read the history and more on their website. It was a fascinating story.

After the tour we rode our bikes to the next winery, Mosaic, and final biking destination. This was your more traditional winery, not as home grown feeling and definitely didn't have the history lesson that the first winery provided. Both people who poured for us were extremely nice and our experience was enjoyable. I enjoyed the wine from the first vineyard more than the second but it was all good. I mean come on, wine at 11am on a Saturday with nowhere to be but with my husband and our good friends!! No complaints here!










After we finished tasting the Mosaic wines we headed outside to the picnic tables for our lunch. It was unbelievable. The spread was beautiful to look at and all of the foods were made locally and oh so delicious. We thoroughly enjoyed everything including the presentation.




Next was to change into our suits for the kayaking portion of the trip. We brought along some water and juice and of course a bottle of wine to enjoy while on the river.

Ken said goodbye for now and Jesse gave us our lesson on how to paddle down the river. We launched into the water and away we went. It was only a class 1+ river but perfect for the day. It was beautiful and the weather was perfect. Not too hot and blue sky's with scattered white clouds. We stopped a couple of times along the journey to sit in the sun, take a swim and enjoy a glass of wine. It was...amazing.











Jesse was a really fun guide. He has been leading groups for a few years and even though the conversation switched to politics at one point, we all stayed calm and nice with one another. ;-)

At this point I had to remind myself that when we left the water there was still more to come....dinner! Once we reached the end of the river portion, we said our goodbyes to Ken and Jesse and changed into our dinner attire. I had no idea where we were going and when we arrived, I was blown away. We ate at The Farm restaurant at the Carneros Inn and if you haven't been there and are in the area it's a MUST!




It was one of the most beautiful locations I've been to. Outside couches and seating around a glass enclosed, rock table fire pit with curtains hanging all around. Seating both inside and outside the restaurant and all beautiful. The menu was horrible because EVERYTHING looked good.





I have to say that it was an incredible day. It was so much fun to be on an adventure with Matt. It had been a while and we have so much fun together. To hear him so happy and excited while kayaking was really cool. He loved being outside, with me and our friends enjoying life. It was a great day. One of the best.

Thank you Matt and Garrett for putting together such a fabulous day. I know that Tanya and I will remember it always.

Matt, thank you for such a wonderful and thoughtful gift. I love you!!