Diana

The introduction of my sister and her family is long overdue. I know I've mentioned Diana here and there and even had a photo from Mother's Day to share but that hasn't even touched the surface.

The older I get, the more layers there are that unfold and unwind and thankfully cause more fits of laughter. Laughter is probably the biggest bond my sister and I share. We just "get" each other. I've found through the years that my sense of humor isn't always understood by other people but I know that I can always call Diana and she'll laugh just as hard if not harder than I do and have something equally funny if not even more hysterical to add.

We've been told we look alike but not by our mother. She thinks we look drastically different. Each our own person, which is true, but I have been out and had a total stranger walk up to me and ask if my name was Diana. Turned out it was an old classmate of hers who knew that they somehow knew me. Funny how genetics work.

We grew up telling people that we're almost 9 years apart. This is something that our mother has been telling us and the world our whole lives. Just a few months ago, I was figuring out how old my sister was and something just wasn't adding up so I asked her her age, and low and behold, we're only 7 1/2 years apart. WHAT??!! YOU'RE KIDDING!!!! If you can only imagine, a fit of laughter burst from the both of us. How had we gone our entire lives, knowing how horrible our mother was at math and just took for granted that we were 9 1/2 years apart?? THAT is beyond me. I mean really!?!

Thankfully, my sister and I talk on the phone almost every day. For 5 minutes or for an hour, while driving to and from places or doing laundry, while hustling people out the door in the morning or sitting and enjoying a cup of tea/coffee. It wasn't always like this. We were close when I was little but that changed as we both grew older and were in completely different phases of life. In fact I can remember my parents telling me how she was the only sister I had and that their one wish was that we could just get along. That was around my late teens/early twenties and her mid twenties/early thirties. It can be tough when your so far apart in age. Our lives were so different for so long. We had very little to relate to. But now, she has four kids ages 12, 13, 15 and 16 and I have two and the gap that used to be so wide is shrinking. Thank goodness!!

What I do know about my sister is that when I was a little girl and scared at night it was her bed that I would crawl into. When a boyfriend broke up with me it was her that I called to cry to. She was the one who handed me the keys to my first car. When I was pregnant she would talk me through my fears and had me drinking orange juice at 2 in the morning to make sure the baby was alright. (it worked!) And now, when my boys do something that I don't know how to handle or one of our fish dies and I need someone to talk to, she's there. Right on the other end of the phone and somehow, always knows just what to say.

There's nothing quite like having a sister and I thank God for her every day. Especially with everything going on with our mom. It's been wonderful to have each other to talk to, to cry with and of course, to laugh with. One of our biggest fits of laughter was after we photographed my family in "the wig". Miles just had us both on the floor. It was so great and healing and wonderful for our family and for mom, that Diana made me promise to bring the camera when I drove out to bring mom to her house so that I could photograph her family in the wig.

Well, I did just that and now, we not only have my family documented in "the wig", but we have my sisters. Let me introduce in order: Trevor, Blake, Raina, Ayla, Brian and Diana....

Gloria

I met Gloria through Garrett and Tanya. She's been a friend of theirs for years and after crossing paths at various bbq's over time, the polite conversation turned into something more. We started sharing about who we are, our hopes and dreams, about our creative sides and where we find our inspiration.

We don't get together all that often but when we do I always leave feeling inspired and charged. Gloria is an interior designer which not only means that she has great taste but she has the best things. A huge ball that weighs a ton and just sits in a corner looking cool. A bowl full of old leather balls that are a faded red in color and fabulous, a collection of vintage bowling pins and an old beautiful wood carved door that is just perched against a wall in her living room to name a few.

Gloria recently found herself in need of some photographs, this time not of the interiors that she's decorated but of herself. She's in the process of revamping her website, her brand and herself and I was beyond flattered when she asked if I would be the one to take her photograph. I went to her home and after a little warm up session inside, we descended into her lovely garden. I absolutely love these photographs. I feel like her spirit just shines through.

Pure, lovely, beautiful.

Maya

What can I say about Maya. There is almost too much for my brain to wrap itself around to formulate sentences through this keyboard, but, I will try to share with you as best I can.

Back in 1996 I had moved to Marin and didn't have any girlfriends local to that area. I can remember going to bed many nights and saying the same prayer, over and over. I prayed for a friend. Someone that lived nearby and that liked most of the same stuff I did. I prayed for someone to show up that was for my highest good. I prayed for quite some time.

I had long curly hair. The hair was big. It defined a part of who I was. (I've always been amazed at how your hairstyle can be such an integral part of your self esteem, worth, perception.) In 1997 I decided to cut it off. My father had died in September of '95 and I needed to shed. I found the best salon in town, Di Pietro Todd, and made an appointment. After many deep breaths and a slow walk up the salon stairs, I made it in. After I checked in I saw her. Walking toward me was Maya, the girl who was going to cut off such a deep part of myself.

It was literally right then and there that a friendship was born. I invited her to a concert that week and I honestly think it was only a couple of weeks later that I invited her to tag along on a trip to Mexico. It was as if she was waiting for me just as much as I was waiting for her.

Maya is a woman who gives to others. She is thoughtful and sincere. She expresses herself in kisses that sometimes are all over your face. She has tattoos. She rides a bike which is always attached to the back of her mini-van in case she has 30 minutes free and can just ride. She has a husband and a son who she loves to pieces. Most importantly, for me, Maya is the person who taught me how to open my heart and love in ways I didn't know possible. She taught me tenderness and generosity. She showed me how to be soft and for that, I will be ever grateful. On top of all that, she's the woman responsible for my stylish hair cuts over the past 12 years.

What feels like a gizillion years ago, I designed some calling cards for Maya. Just some cards with her name and number for when she met people and wanted to exchange information. We've been long overdue to update those cards but now was the time. I knew that I wanted my inspiration for her new cards to come straight from the source. I wanted to put Maya into her cards. I decided to use a piece or pieces from her tatoos as the artwork.

After photographing her tattoos, I used parts of the frames from her arms as the illustrations. Her left arm is different from her right so I've mimicked that on the front and back sides of the business card. We used the color pallet that was created for her by a colorist and she and I sat together to pick a font that she connected with.

I just love these cards because when I look at them, I just feel Maya. Magic, beauty and her unique spirit.

Happy Father's Day

It's been almost 9 years since we met, almost 7 years since we were married and 5 years that we've been parents. Whew!

I feel like it's been this constant growing, changing, give and take, push me - pull you kind of thing. A dance that has been challenging at times, fun at others and always interesting, engaging and leaving me wanting more.

Yesterday was the day to celebrate you. Your loving nature, your ability to make us all laugh, your dedication. You put our family first. You think of us before accepting invitations, before making decisions, before yourself. We see that. I see that. I can't tell you how much I love and honor you as a father and husband.

I love you with my heart and soul. I thank God for bringing you into my life. I feel like this dance we've been learning isn't so awkward. That we're figuring certain steps out and enjoying the flow. You share the responsibility of our children, of our home, of everything that makes this family whole.

Happy Father's Day to you my love! I love you!!
xooxox

photo by Jason Pachura

Home

I've known Nils for years. I met him at an art and wine festival in Marin of all places. He had a booth set up selling his fine art photography. I just loved what he shot. Abstract details of the world around us. Showcasing color and texture and turning the ordinary into the unordinary.

He came over to where I lived at the time and showed a slideshow presentation of more of his work and became instant friends. I think that was around 12 years ago. Crazy. Nils is not only a photographer but an architect. The first lines from his "design philosophy" section of his website illustrate his direction. "I aspire for an architecture that can sooth the soul, while letting the spirit fly. In other words, one that both comforts and enlightens daily life and there-with becomes a refuge from the ordinary."
Don't you want to live, work, be in an environment like that?!

He just spent two weeks at a workshop just outside of Bolinas, CA getting a certificate in Permaculture Design. It's the integration of designing our living space with the natural world around us. It's pretty deep and seems like such a wonderful direction to be moving. Self sustaining properties, working with the environment, living as green as possible.

Nils is on his way to Costa Rica to live and create architecture indefinitely. He stopped here on his way through town and it was so nice to see him. I always enjoy the time we spend together. While here, he told us about a new film that was just released. It's pretty incredible and I can't wait to watch the whole thing. It's viewable through youtube of all places but you can check out their website which is super cool and then just link to the movie.

I'll just give a brief description and then you'll need to check it out for yourself. Yann Arthus-Bertrand shot arial footage from over fifty countries. He shows how we, humans, have and are upsetting the balance of life on this planet in hopes that it's not too late and that we can reverse the trend being created. That by "becoming aware of the full extent of it's spoliation of the Earth's riches" we can change it's patterns of consumption.

I hope this film is seen by a large number of people, especially by people who can help make change happen.


HOME

Fall In Love Again

I love paper. There's something about it, the texture, the quality, the colors. I just love it. I could spend hours in an art store that has a great selection of paper. I love making things with paper too. When I was a kid, I remember making jewelry with my mom out of paper and she still has some of those earings!

A few years agp, I had an old piece of accessory furniture that I didn't like because it was unfinished. It's a small four drawer piece that sits on top of my larger dresser. It's made of wood and was pretty boring. One day while in a paper store, I had an idea. Why not buy some beautiful paper and refinish the drawers. I sat down and went to work. It was a detailed job but well worth the effort. Once it was complete and I placed it on top of my dresser, I loved it!

We have a table that we've been letting the boys use as a desk in our office. It's a very plain wood table but solid and very functional. Over Mother's Day weekend, Matt bought us a salt water fish tank. I'll save that story for a different day, the one about how I wanted a fish bowl for the boys to explore having a pet with and came home to a 26 gallon salt water tank! But, that aside, we had originally placed the tank in the kitchen area but realized that it's too hot in that space and needed to move it into the office. That sparked my fire to finally refinish the table before the tank was placed on it and the table would stay in whatever state it was in forever.

The process is pretty simple and gives such great results. Here's our list of supplies for this particular table:

3 sheets of paper
Modge Podge
Acrylic Sealer

The paper we bought was an orange/rust color paper, similar to the color of the table and a great contrast to the blue walls in the room. The paper has a very cool pattern of intricate illustrations of trees and flowers. This job didn't require cutting the paper because we didn't cover the edges of the table, but if you choose to, just cut the paper to the size of each side.

It only took three steps to complete as well.
1. Buy all of the supplies
2. Paint the paper on with the Modge Podge
3. Coat with the acrylic sealer when dry

Here are a series of photo's to show the process:

We measured the length of the paper, placing one full sheet to fall in the center of the table and then cut the pieces that wrapped around the side to fit. Marked where they met and started at one end.

Be sure to coat the seams well so that peeling doesn't happen over time.

I've seen people use Modge Podge on just about anything and everything. You can cover an old pair of shoes, a book to make a journal, you name it you can paint it. So, dig out something that you thought was headed for the trash or your next garage sale and give it a new look! You'll be surprised at how much you might fall in love again.

Graduation and the Start of Summer

It's official, summer is here. Mason had his last day of school Friday!

I think this past week was one of those times that I went into denial about a lot of things. My baby growing up, how my mom is doing in Arizona by herself, my sister and the craziness in her world, my business, everything! I just existed and the next thing I knew it was the weekend. Now, school is out, and I don't think I have enough energy to entertain my two boys for the next how many weeks?! Thank goodness for Martyna (our nanny) and camps!

The biggest piece of denial I've been facing was Mason graduating preschool. I had friends last year who had children moving into Kindergarten and some of them were pretty emotional about it. I hate to admit it but every once in a while I had the thought, "Really?, is it THAT big of a deal?". It's a good thing I kept those thoughts to myself, I've learned over the years to try not to point fingers at other parents, you never know how it's going to turn out for yourself with your own kids and this was one of those times when I could have never have known how I would feel until I was right there, standing at the edge of that diving board holding Mason's little hand getting ready to jump.

Why is it such a big deal? Why am I in denial over the fact that he's going to Kindergarten next year? Because the school is big. Much bigger than any school he's ever attended. There are a LOT of children who are there and his class is three times the size of the one he's in now, let alone the fact that there are three, maybe four classes of Kindergardeners this year. He has to be completely independent in the bathroom. If he needs help, there won't be anyone there. He's going to need to be responsible for so much more than he's ever had to be. The other thing that struck me was all of the bigger kids and their parents and all of the people just wandering around and being at the school at different times. All of the people that I don't know. Have no idea who they are, what they're about and they all are near my little Mason! THAT was what freaked me out. Why graduating preschool became such a bid deal.

The thing that comforts me and that I try to remember when I start breathing too quickly at the thought of what's ahead, is Mason. He's going to be o.k. He knows how to ask for what he needs. He's not shy. He'll be just fine. It's Mason!

Here are a few photo's of the little graduate in his cap and gown. Oh, he's so cute and so grown up!! ;-)

Imogen Heap

Music. What do I want to say about music. It changes me. It changes my mood, my behavior.

I can't believe how lucky I am to have fallen in love with someone who is moved by music more deeply than I am. Matt is a man who is constantly seeking, listening to, or making music. It's funny, for how much I love hearing the sounds of music, I often find myself hours into my day, working away, in silence. I don't know why that is. I just forget to put something on. Matt never forgets. It's the first thing he does and I'm always reminded of how much I wish I did that when he walks into a quiet room and puts on just the right music to enhance whatever it is that we're doing. O.K. maybe not every time, but 9 times out of 10 for sure.

Recently he came home and shared one of his new favorite songs and it instantly became one of mine as well. I thought today I would share that song. It's great if you can just sit and listen. Putting head phones on would be even better. Get lost in the song and the mood that she creates with the melody and her voice. It's a bit haunting I would say, but there's something so smooth and relaxing at the same time.

I know it's not for everyone and if it's not for you, simply turn it off and chalk it up to a difference of taste. But, if you like it, and you're like me, you may just find yourself playing it again and again and again. Her name is Imogen Heap and she was nominated for 2 grammy's in 2006.

SInce I couldn't figure out how to just upload the song to this post, I'm giving a link to a site for you to play it. When you launch the site, there is a bar in gray that lists the song duration and to the right of that is a play button. Enjoy!

Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek

Happy Monday!

A Little More Of Me

I woke up this morning thinking about who I am, as a human being. The things that set me apart from others. The little things. The things that you might not know about me, even if you're with me all the time. It's these things that shape and mold who we are in the world because I think all of those things are in the background all the time. They might not show themselves to everyone or even anyone at all, but they're there.

So, I thought I would share a few things about me. Just a few, and maybe I'll make more sense, but, maybe not.

1. I don't eat cake. Never have. Even when I was little I didn't have a birthday cake. I never wanted one. I had brownies or cookies or rice crispy treats. Never, ever, ever cake! I'm sure some of you out there can't understand. I'm not sure I even understand, but it's me. I'm not big on desserts in general.

2. I drink a cup of tea every day. Black tea. Strong black tea. Two tea bags in fact, in one cup. I was on a huge Assaam kick for a while but I've turned toward Darjeeling as of late. I remember the first time I saw someone put two bags in one cup. I thought, "can you really do that?" "put two bags in one cup?". Brilliant! That leads to the next one...

3. I'm a rule follower. Always have been. Kind of like the cake thing. No idea where it came from or why it's that way but I like following rules. I feel comfortable staying in the lines. Following the speed limit, stopping completely at stop signs. Washing my hands after going to the bathroom, following a recipe, exactly. It's only been in the last few years, after being with Matt who isn't so much of a rule follower, that I've been experimenting with coloring outside the lines. And, I have to say, sometimes the food is better when you improvise. Who knew?!

4.When I find the time to read, I read multiple books at a time. It's just how I do things. I love to read but it wasn't always that way. I can vividly remember the summer of my 16th year. I was going to be a senior in High School that coming fall and didn't have much to do but lounge around the pool in the backyard. (oh, the days of nothing to do!) Up until that point I had only read short books, books for school, off of the "readers list". My mom has always been an avid reader. Sometimes a book every few days. No more than a week or so to get through one for sure. She was a huge fan of Ayn Rand and had even seen her speak once. On our bookshelves in the family room, were a ton of books for me to choose from but "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand stood out. Why? Because it was fat. F.A.T. 734 pages fat to be exact. I challenged myself, that summer, to read the entire book. No matter what. I felt that if I could finish that book, I could read ANYTHING. It took me a while, I'm definitely not my mother when it comes to flying through books, but I did it. I read the entire thing. Well except for about 20 pages in the middle when the central character, "Howard Roark" gives a speach that goes on forever. And so, my literary career as a "book reader" began. I don't like non-fiction, I get enough of that in my every day life. I like books that tell interesting stories about interesting characters. Books like, Saving Fish From Drowning, Atlas Shrugged, Ender's Game , and The Traveler to name a few. I've just started a book loaned to me by Maya. One of her clients wrote it and I'm eager to see what it has in store. The Little Giant of Aberdeen County.

5. O.K. this one, I'm a little shy to admit. Just a little, but not enough not to share. Have you ever driven behind or next to one of those people that totally rocks out in their car? They bop up and down, sing at the top of their lungs, dance to the beat behind the wheel? Well, I'm one of those. It's true! I wonder sometimes what people must think if they're stopped behind me at a light or if they happen to look over while passing me on the freeway. But most of the time, I don't think about it. What other people think. I guess if I did that, maybe I wouldn't be dancing in my car but who cares?! I just can't even help myself really. I hear the music and my hand starts tapping on the steering wheel. Then my body starts moving to the music. My head bops back and forth, up and down and if there are words to the song, look out!. Full throttle sound check going on in the front seat. Now it's even more fun because the boys are getting into it too. The three of us let loose while cruising down the road. So, if you see a head grooving to some tunes behind the wheel, it might just be me.

I'll leave you with one of Matt's favorite photo's that he took back in 1993 when we were at Burning Man. It's just another side of me that some people don't know about. I guess there's more to tell, but I'll save that for a different day.

Tuesday Inspiration

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in photography that I forget about other art forms. I guess that's not entirely true, but I forget to look at things. Paintings, sculpture, textiles etc. I forget that my breath can be stopped by the creation of art from the mind and hands of another human being.

Matt sent this link a while back that his friend Stexe turned him on to. Every now and again I go to visit, and today, I thought I would share.

So, here's a little inspiration in the form of sculpture for your Tuesday afternoon:

Ron Mueck


(If the site doesn't load properly, just try again. And when you're there, you can simply click on the image to scroll through the gallery)

In Bloom

About two months ago, maybe three, I bought a couple of bulbs to plant in two pots in our backyard. I thought it would be neat for the boys to watch something grow. I actually really wanted to see them grow, having never planted a bulb before, but the boys are always a good excuse for something like that.

We had stopped by Sloat, one of my favorite nursery's, so that I could pick up more Forget Me Not seeds. While in the store, I saw a huge bulb display. I looked at the different packages and found that they had one of my favorite flowers, the dahlia. They are so beautiful. I think it's a combination of the shape and the amount of petals that make just one single flower. The symmetry, the perfection, the color. Really, anything that has "many" to it, intrigues me. Many layers and intricate details. That's what I love.

Well, our first flower from one of the bulbs fully bloomed today. It brought a smile to my face to look at it and I can't wait for the other buds to open and amaze me as well.