May The Force Be With You

Photo by Matt Reoch

My son is 4, almost 5. He LOVES Legos. It's one of his favorite activities. It's one of ours too because he can honestly just sit there with a set of instructions and a tray full of Legos and build. It's so great.

His favorite type at the moment is the Star Wars series. If you haven't seen what's available in this series and you have a boy that's of Lego building age or a boyfriend or husband that's into it, you have to check it out. Some of them are just plain over the top. The Millenium Falcon, Han Solo's ship for those of you who don't remember, is $499!! Can you imagine??!! We've already told Mason that he is NOT to expect that one for his birthday in March.

















On Saturday of last week we were going to the toy store for Miles to pick out a birthday gift with the money he had been gifted. Mason of course wanted to buy something himself so we told him he could use his allowance money if he wanted to. He had been saving for a few weeks and had about $16 to spend. He carefully chose a few items to carry around so that he could make his final decision before we left. Two of the choices were smaller Star Wars Lego kits. As we were waiting to pay we asked him to make his decision and he picked the "Assassin Droid Battle Pack".

















Mason paid for his kit with his allowance and while Matt was paying for Miles gift I needed to run into Borders next door to buy a mouse pad. Mason and I ran over with him carrying his new Star Wars Lego box. When we arrived there was a woman hanging out with her baby and Mason being who he is, went right up to the baby and started talking to her. He's so good at that. The mom saw what he was carrying, leaned over to me and whispered, "George Lucas is about 20 feet that way. He's in a yellow jacket".

You can only imagine what had to happen next.

I walked Mason over to where Mr. Lucas was and keeping a polite distance whispered to Mason that standing there, was the man who was the brain behind Star Wars. Behind his light sabers and all of the other Star Wars toys he loved. George Lucas saw us standing there and said hello. I told him how Mason had just bought this Lego kit with his allowance and a conversation then began between George Lucas and my son. It was great. Mason told him that this was his 3rd kit that he had. Two were gifts and this one he bought. George asked him if he had ever seen any of the Clone Wars episodes since that was what the Battle Pack he was holding was from. I interjected that we didn't think it was "age appropriate" yet. He suggested in a year or two. We'll see. Then Mason asked him what it was that he had just bought. What was it called. George looked a little taken aback and didn't understand what he meant at first. He told him it was from the Clone Wars. This wasn't the answer Mason was looking for and responded with "no, what is it CALLED????" "Oh", came the response to being called out by a 4 year old. "It's a Speeder. Well, ahem, actually it's called a Speeder Bike".

So cool. No where on the box does it say that and Mason just beamed at now having a name for the vehicle he was about to go home and build. Awesome.

We said our thank yous and our goodbyes and while I was paying for my mouse pad I suggested that we take the pen I was using and have George Lucas sign his box before we left. How cool would that be? Mason immediately responded, "NO! I don't want him to write on my box. I want it just like this!!"

So, we left and ran out to the car so that he could tell Matt what just happened. I know that Mason doesn't really get how cool that whole interaction was but this will be his story. One that he'll tell years from now. How he met George Lucas in a book store with his mom. I'll remember it for sure especially every time he builds a new Star Wars Lego kit. A kit with the box just the way it is.

Taking A Leap

Well, I've done it. I just spoke with Leila Khalil from Be Inspired. I've hired on a public relations specialist. Oh My Goodness!! We're starting out slow and I'm not sure what will come of it but I'm excited. THAT is a good feeling. I've explored different things relating to my business. I joined the Ladies Who Launch organization, I've spoken at a Me Ra Koh workshop, I'm a featured designer on the Kiss Wedding Book website. All of this in my first year of business and working with Be Inspired feels like a great next step.

I struggled for a bit after speaking with Leila trying to figure out if this was really the right move or not. I thought long and hard the other night as I was getting ready to go to bed. Could I do what they were saying they could do for me. Promote myself to blogs and magazines. Put a package together to either email or mail to introduce myself and my product. The answer I came to was yes, I definitely could do that. BUT, and there's this huge B.U.T. that came up in my mind as I drifted off to sleep. Would the impact of my presentation be different coming directly from me or from a publicist. The answer was pretty clear. Yes, it would be different.

Something that I've come to understand over this past year is that there are things that I do that I'm good at and there are things that I do that I am great at. This thought is similar to conversations I have with my clients. They tell me how time consuming designing an album is for them. How much they don't really like it. How it feels more like they've sat down in a chair for a root-canal than to design a book for their client. For me, I feel like I'm on a trip to Disneyland. O.k. maybe that's taking it a bit too far, but, it is fun for me. I love designing books and I love working with images. Just love it. So, why not open myself to the possibility of someone else doing what it is that they love to do, for me!

I think that what I love the most about this decision is how I feel. I'm a bit giddy. This not only means that my husband has enough faith in me to invest in my business and our future but someone else does. A complete stranger!

Something feels kind of tingly in the air and I feel hopeful for the future of my business. Hope seems to be a trend these days and I'm jumping on the band wagon!

Growth In The New Year

I'm excited about the possibility of growth this year. Both personally and professionally. I know that with everything going on I don't have to worry about growing personally. Being faced with the challenges of motherhood and now caregiving is enough to spark anyone to shed some old skin and look at who and how they're being in the world. The idea of growing professionally is another story.

There is such a desire and need for my business to expand but it's saddled right along side fear. A big huge chunk of fear. I've always said that there is a fine line between excitement and fear and you just have to know how to tip the scale towards excitement but I'm finding it hard to do. Difficult because I don't honestly know if I'll be able to manage the growth that I'm asking for. How do you balance being a mother, wife, daughter, caregiver and business woman. All run from the inside of my home. There are days that I can't work. There is no time between being with the boys and with my mom. Driving to and from appointments, fixing meals, doing laundry. I laugh that about the only time I have to do any work is updating my Facebook and Twitter pages which is sad to even admit.

I had committed to working nights, mornings, whatever extra time I could find but that is proving to be difficult. Somehow, I'm managing my clients and staying within the deadlines I've set for myself which is shocking even for me to realize. But, I want more. I need more. Financially I need more but aside from that, I'm curious about being more, about my business growing larger. The part that I hate to admit is that I've thought about that for a very long time. So long that I wonder if it's just a thought that will never be realized or if, perhaps I will step past those fears that keep me from multiplying and just go for it.

I did take a step today. I spoke with a PR company about helping me to market my business. I'm excited about the possibilities that lie ahead and I share this with the greater internet community to help speak what I say into being. To help hold me accountable, to let people know that I'm serious about my life and about my business. That I want more and am going after it.

What will the future hold? I have no idea but I'm ready to find out.

A Letter To Miles

I can remember holding my belly, wrapping my arms around you sending you love and telling you how much I wanted you. Wating to feel you move inside of me. Wondering who you were, who you were going to be. What would you look like, what would you be like. Anything like your brother or someone completely unique and different from anything I could imagine. That you are my sweet sweet boy. Different and more wonderful than I could ever have imagined.

You have such a presence about you. A goofiness that even your father doesn't match, and he's pretty goofy. ;-) You are all smiles and when you flash those big brown eyes people always comment about how deep and dark and wonderful they are.

Your laugh makes my entire being smile and when I see you and your brother being loving with each other, playing and getting along, I'm filled with such happiness.

You've been waiting for your birthday for so long and whenever I ask you about it there is one word that is uttered first and then repeated over and over until we repeat it back to you, maybe just to assure you that YES it's actually happening. You are having a CAKE!!! Taking you to pick out that cake was so much fun. We looked through the whole book at Baskin Robbins and we thought we had a winner when you picked the Diego cake. But, then, you saw the Thomas the Train cake and that was that. Choo Choo cake was all we heard for the next few days. Your eyes sparkled and you lit up whenever you mentioned it.

Now the cake has been eaten and the party is over. All that remains are the Thomas and number "2" balloons. A sweet reminder of a wonderful day. The day you turned 2.

I love you my dear one. Thank you for your laughter, for your "thank you mommy"s, for your kisses and hugs. You are a precious gift and I thank God for you each day.

Happy Happy Birthday!!!!!

(photo's by both mommy and daddy)

Day To Day

I'm in the motion of my day to day life, with the added element of mom. It's not as, (I can't even find the right word to describe,) alarming, no...dis-jointed? maybe, than I thought it was going to be. I know that it hasn't even been a week and I'm sure we're on a roller coaster like Space Mountain where I can't even see what's coming, but the interesting thing about it is that, it's almost forcing me to behave in a way that I've longed to be for quite some time. In the moment. Right there, wherever I am, and just be.

I'm happy with how my family is adapting. My husband, who I think is the biggest rock star of husbands, has taken all of this in stride. He's done things for my mom that I didn't even think to do which shows both his love for me and for my mom which only makes me love him more. Mason is beside himself with excitement and joy that Grandma is here. He can't wait to get home to see her. He's the first to want to bring her anything she needs. (They're building Lego's right now in her bed and listening to them is super cute.) Miles eased right into her being her too. We were a little worried since he didn't know her that well, but he's a big fan of Grandma's. Biggest fan number 2, right behind Mason.

I think I've been on hyper drive since she's been here. Up and taking care of 9 million things before 10am. A friend commented today that she was concerned that I might burn out at the rate I'm going. I actually called my sister, who if I didn't know was my sister I would say was related to the Tasmanian Devil, and asked if she spiked anything I ate with a chunk of cocaine while I was visiting because I haven't stopped moving since I left. She of course just laughed and said I must have been infused with some of her energy since I stayed with her in her bed on my overnight. I'm torn between just going with this crazy spurt of energy and seeing what miracles I can create or just dropping to my knees and waiting for it to pass!

But seriously, in answer to Christine who's concerned for my well being, I am, as I said at the beginning, being right where I am in the moment. So today, when I was at the park with the boys, I was there, fully, completely and enjoyed every minute of it. I sat in the sun and soaked in the rays. I listened to the laughter and I didn't look at my crackberry once. O.K. maybe once, and I relaxed.

I ask this now in seriousness, please, anyone who reads this who hangs out with me, remind me of this when I forget and appear to be a crazy woman running herself ragged. I can see it now, no make-up, stained clothes, bag full of everything slung over my shoulder and too bad I don't need to curl my hair because a good set of rollers would make that look complete! Not a pretty sight for anyone involved! So, to save my children and Matt the horror of a crazed lunatic living in their house yelling at them and telling them what to do every minute, please remind me to just breath now and again. That everything will get done in due time and that 2 isn't too early to have a nice glass of wine!

Catching up!

It's amazing to me how quickly time flies. Days turn into weeks so fast it seems. The recent events with my mom have only sped things up, but now, she's here and maybe time will appear differently. Maybe it will slow down just for a bit.

I have been working this whole time. Through traveling back and forth to Arizona, through visits to the hospital and drop offs and pick ups from school. Not as much as I had been, but working none the less. I'll catch myself up to date so that I can feel like I'm starting the new year off, or at least half way through the first month ;-) fresh.

A few weeks ago our friends came over for dinner and while here Maya gave Amelia her very first hair cut. Amelia has been the most patient little girl waiting for her hair to grow. I've heard that sometimes the blondish red hair takes a while and for whatever reason hers is growing slowly. But, she was ready and willing for her very first haircut and I was so glad to be there to document the event. Her big sparkly eyes and sweet spirit shine through the photographs. Amelia oh how I do love you!

On another note, our close friends Christine and Brian just had a baby last week and although I haven't had the chance to take the newborn pictures that I'm dying to take, I did have the opportunity to photograph her belly a couple of days before the birth! It was an impromptu shoot at their home but I love the casualness of the images which is so them.

I also designed some albums for both old and new clients as well as a book for our family. William McKee and Kelly West are two of my newest clients. They were both incredibly easy to work with and I look forward to building more books for them in the future. For Matt's parents, I made an apple book this holiday. I had never produced a book like this before and was pleasantly surprised by how nice it was. The print quality was great, the binding was solid and the pages were a nice thickness. We made a book from our summer vacation this past July. It turned out so amazing and was fun to put together. I'm going to add this book to my line as a less expensive option. I do have a few snapshots of this that I took to send to his grandparents.

I do have to mention something that spending time with Matt's father over the holiday opened up for me. The effects of ALS were more prevalent than our last visit but what struck me more than his physical being was how gracious, kind and steadfast he is. Being with him was inspiring, for I realized something about myself. Something that I would like to change. I realized that when I have even the slightest cold I do all I can to make sure everyone knows how sick I am. I announce my tiredness, I announce my congestion and I announce how awful I feel at every turn. Part of this I think is just being a verbal person. I've always told the people around me what I'm feeling. I'm cold, I'm hot, I'm hungry, I'm exhausted! Someone once answered one of my "how I'm doing announcements" with a question. "What do you want me to do about that?!" It kind of took me off guard because, really, I didn't want them to do anything. I was just telling them what I was feeling. I guess a lot of people just don't do that and after being around Matt's dad, I understand more than I ever have. He handles himself with grace. He never complains, at least not that I've heard. He has a smile on his face and the best attitude I've ever experienced. He's inspired me to keep my feelings to myself a bit more. To be a little more reserved with what I express to those around me and to think about what it is I'm wanting from "announcing" something. I'll take that with me and hopefully 2009 will be filled with a bit more joy and a little or a lot less complaining!

Now, for the photo's. I hope you enjoy!

AMELIA'S FIRST HAIRCUT

CHRISTINE AND BRIAN + ONE

THE LAKEHOUSE - SUMMER 2008

Happy New Year! 2009

I'm back. I disappeared for a bit but I think I tend to that when I leave my home and day to day routine. I didn't have cell reception and I told myself to just stay off of email while I was away. I wanted to be right where I was. In the moments of being home with Matt's family. Celebrating Christmas and the people we were with.

I did just that. Celebrated and laughed and relaxed. There were definitely the times of craziness. Only those that can come along with 21 people being present in the immediate family. 9 of those people are children between the ages of 3 months and about to be 6 years old. There are two babies on the way to boot. Due in March and April. It's a full house for sure but wonderful and festive and fattening! There was so much food out all the time but oh so good. I gained about 5 pounds in 6 days! Thank goodness we're looking for a jogging stroller so that Matt and I can go running with the boys as a New Years hope to exercise as a family!


Now that we're back and I'm we've moved into 2009 I have tons to do. I'm leaving next weekend to pick up my mom. She's going to live with us for the next 6 months. My hope is that it will be as wonderful as it will be challenging. I truly am looking forward to spending this time with my mother. Hearing her stories and watching her spend time with my boys. Having a unique opportunity that most people don't have these days to live in a way like she did. Having grandparents living in your home. 2009 looks like it will be a time for reflection and growth. I've already been in a reflective mood over the last few months. Something about seeing 40 not too far off in my future I think. Funny how that seems to be part of my present even though it's a couple of years away.

Well, I've babbled long enough. I'll leave this post with a few photographs of our trip. We had one snow day where we went sledding right out the back porch. It was so much fun and the boys had a blast. I also had the opportunity to photograph Matt's younger brother Paul and his fiancé Liz who is a wonderful addition to the family. They're planning on having an engagement shoot later but I woke up one morning wanting to take their photograph. We didn't stay out too long considering it was around 30 degrees with strong winds. It was FREEZING!!!!! I'm glad to have captured something before my fingers froze. ;-)

All in all I have high hopes for this coming year. In the face of adversity maybe we can help each other through love, compassion and understanding. By helping our family, loved ones, friends and even strangers. By stepping outside of our own insecurities and fears to create great things.

Happy New Year to all of the wonderful people who have supported me and continue to do so. To the people that read this blog, my clients, my family and friends and to God for his continued love and support and guidance.